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Twelve Common Traits of High Maintenance Christians and How to Help Them to Overcome It
Twelve Common Traits of High Maintenance Christians and How to Help Them to Overcome It
1. They are convinced that their needs are the most urgent, and perhaps may have even made them so. To high maintenance Christians, they believe every concern they have is urgent and has the potential to have far reaching and permanent impact. Answer: Help them to understand that they cannot be allowed to dictate priorities; they must learn to be patient and wait for their turn.
2. They have a sense of entitlement. Everyone deserves to be treated with equal respect, but the high maintenance Christian will expect more. When this happens, there’s generally an unhealthy level of ego at play. Answer: Have them pause and put their expectations in perspective to the bigger picture; ask them to describe their place in God’s plans.
3. They appear unable to be self-sufficient, but have grown accustomed to playing the helpless or incapable card. Answer: Remind them that God does not ask of them anything they are incapable of accomplishing.
4. They firmly grasp and frequently repeat stories of personal wrongs done to them in the past; they have a difficult time moving past real or imagined wrongs, and use them as excuses for failure in the present. Answer: Tell them that you are sorry that happened to them, but you’re here now, we appreciate you, and we all have work to do.
5. They talk a lot or not at all; both to get attention. The high maintenance Christian thrives on attention; however they have little desire or motivation to actually hear and take the advice they receive. Mostly, they want a listening ear. Answer: Ask them to state a productive reason or goal for their complaint.
6. They are seldom satisfied and see the flaws in every situation. Even when they’ve been given extra attention, they will find something wrong with the service they’ve received. It seems that they walk around just a few degrees away from boiling over, and others feel they must walk on eggshells when around them. Answer: Ask them to provide the same service for others at the same level they demand it from others.
7. They are high-strung and live in a state of perpetual drama. Every small inconvenience or mistake becomes a crisis. Answer: Remain calm and be unaffected by their high state of emotion; do not try to resolve every perceived crisis; instead, show patience by example.
8. They handle money poorly, regardless of the economy or their income, their needs are invariably more. They spend a lot of energy dealing with past due accounts and juggling to use this month’s income to cover last month’s bills, often needing others to help them out. Answer: Teach them personal responsibility and how to live frugally; help only when they are without Biblically basic needs: food, clothing, and shelter. It doesn’t help them to finance their prodigal nature.
9. They place a high importance on material things. Ironically, the focus on possessions and status is a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. Answer: Show only limited interest in their material goods and converse with them regularly about their spiritual development.
10. They are obsessed with details, theirs and yours. They are highly focused on getting too-much-information from and about you and exhibit a none-of-your-business attitude about your interest in the particulars of their lives. They obtain an unhealthy form of validation from the trust you appear to offer by giving them personal details of your life. Answer: Change the subject as many times as needed until the idea of a higher level of thinking and talking develops.
11. They seem unsettled, ill at ease, constantly making changes in their work, living conditions, and place of worship. The details that are non-issues to others are insurmountable burdens to them. Happiness perpetually evades them. Answer: Happiness is their choice and responsibility, not yours. You cannot provide an environment of happiness for someone determined to be unhappy.
12. They resent authority and are often critical of it. They use passive aggressive behavior and spread ill will; often barely covering up an attitude of superiority over others. Answer: Remind them that heaven’s gates are closed to someone with that spirit, and that leaders and members in the local church do not deserve to be treated that way. (Adapted from an article by Cheryl Conner in Forbes)
A Moments Wisdom
--What R.I.P means to a Christian: 1) Rest in peace, for the godly who are in Christ; 2) Replenished in profit, for all of our losses for Christ’s sake; 3) Refreshed in Paradise, for all of the labors and sufferings of life; 4) Raised in power, to replace our weak and mortal bodies; 5) Reward is perpetual, life eternal with the Lord.
--Biblical Christianity is unpopular; popular Christianity is un-Biblical.
--Sometimes people work diligently to expose what is wrong with you because they can’t handle what is right about you.
--“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” (Viktor Frankl)
--“You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” (Dr. Seuss)
--Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
--“Not wanting to appear judgmental, we mistakenly try to make Biblical truth fit the culture around us.” (A.W. Tozer)
--“Some people’s idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.” (Winston Churchill)
--The time will come when church will no longer want shepherds feeding the sheep, and will choose to have clowns entertaining the goats.
--“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” (R.W. Emerson)
--If helping others reveals the best version of yourself, then accepting help gives people a chance to reveal their best as well.
--Faith is not about everything turning out okay; faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.
--The world is changed by your example, not your opinion. What a world this would be if everyone in social media understood this.
--Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.
Upcoming Sermons
2/9/25 AM - 2024 Report on the Work at Trilacoochee; PM - Psalms for the 21st Century Christian
2/16/25 AM - “And the Rains Descended”; PM - “Set a Guard Over My Mouth”
2/23/25 AM - Why are Some Afraid of the Gospel?; PM - Growing Up with Tares
3/2/25 AM - Authorized to Make Promises; PM - Worship in Song: Congregational Choice
3/9/25 AM - “I’ll Stop Procrastinating… Tomorrow”; PM - Fighting Fear and Failure Full Force
3/16/25 AM - Four Men in a Tree; PM - “Like a Stubborn Calf”
3/23/25 AM - Why Did a Loving God Make Me This Way?; PM - Daniel’s Prayer
3/30/25 AM - Guest Speaker’ PM - Guest Speaker: Doug Sanders
